He’s Just Not That Int0 You

Notes from

He’s Just Not That Into You

By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

These are the notes that I took while reading the book. I found some information that might be of use to some. The book has some great advice in it, but I cannot agree with everything in the book due to my moral stance.

Wasting time with the wrong person is wasting time.

You should not waste the pretty.

I am tired of seeing women in Bullsh*t relationships.

When a guy is into you he will let you know.

Stop making excuses for him; his actions are screaming: he’s just not that into you.

The minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

Move on and find the guy you are supposed to be with.

He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.

If a guy wants you he will find you.

If you don’t think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.

Its not that he is not attracted by your looks it is probably he is scared of “love” commitment.

Deal with men how they are not how you would like them to be.

If you have to do the asking out 9 times out of 10, he’s just not that into you.

You are worth asking out.

Men are never too busy to get what they want.

100% of men polled said they’ve never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, “a man has to have is priorities.”

If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.

Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.

Hanging out is not dating.

There seem to be so many variations to dating, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. So many gray murky areas of vagueness, mystery, and no questions asked. Dudes love this time because that’s when they get to pretend they’re not really dating you. Then they also get to pretend they’re not really responsible for you feelings.

Any guy that can wait two weeks to see you, is just not that into you.

100% of guys polled said “a fear of intimacy” has never stopped them from getting into a relationship. One guy even remarked, “Fear of intimacy is a urban myth.” Anther guy said, “That’s just what we say to girls when we’re just not into them.”

If you don’t know where the relationship is going, it’s okay to pull over and ask.

Don’t date any man who doesn’t know why he does things.

Ladies, don’t let your desire to be loved and feel affection cloud your judgment (Like a big tall glass of scotch).

Love covers commitment-phobia.

Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has “issues” with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you. Because he’s not really saying he doesn’t want to get married. He’s saying he doesn’t want to get married to you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. You shouldn’t feel ashamed, needy, of “unliberated” for wanting that.

If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it’s your relationship that is insecure, not his bank account.

I believe one foot in is the same as one foot out.

Don’t spend your time on a give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.

100% of the guys polled told us they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life. One man answered, “What kind of knucklehead has a problem marrying the love of his life?”

If you have different views about marriage, what else are you not on the same page about? Time to take inventory.

There’s a guy out there who wants to marry you.

100% of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant that they didn’t want to go out with them anymore.

Cut him off let him miss you.

He doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re great.

100% of men polled who had “disappeared” on a woman said that at the time they were completely aware of what a horrible thing they were doing, and no woman calling them up and talking to them would have changed that.

No answer is your answer.

Don’t give him the chance to reject you again.

There’s no mystery- he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you.

If you’re not able to love freely it’s not really love.

A good relationship should not be lived in secrecy. Go find yourself one worth living out loud.

If he is really into you, he will get over his issues fast and make sure he doesn’t lose you. Or he will make it clear to you how he feels, so there’s no mystery, and tell you up front that he’s not up to it right now. And then you can best be sure, the minute he is ready, he will run out and find you.

If you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy.

People are complicated. They are a mixed bag of lovable and dysfunctional qualities. That’s why they are so darn confusing.

Is he making you happy? I don’t mean some of the time, on rare occasions, not that often, “ but the good still out weights the bad.” Does he make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If the answer is no, cut him loose and go find a man with a higher “good count.”

100% of the guys polled said they have never tried to torture or humiliate a girl they were really into.

You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.

Have faith. What other choice is there?

We want you t think of yourself as the rule. Thinking of yourself as the exception is what going to get you into a mess.

Set standards for yourself.

Seemingly innocent words and phrases that can also be used for evil

	What it should mean:	What it sometimes means:
Friend	I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.	I’m just not that into you.
Busy	I was just inaugurated president of the United States today.	I’m just not that into you.
Bad Boy	A guy you should stay away from.	A guy you should stay away from.
I’m Not Ready	I can’t find my pants.	I’m just not that into you.
Call Me	I just dropped my cell phone in the ocean and I lost your number	I’m just not that into you.
Not Into Family	I don’t want to date your mom.	I’m just not that into you.
Fear Of Intimacy	A fear of being intimate	I’m just not that into you.

Love is a drug. I know not the most original of concepts, but it’s true. And sometimes no matter how rehabilitated you are, the drug gets you. Particularly if it’s been a long time since you’ve used the drug – then it really can take hold. Love is something most of us want very badly in our lives, sometimes more than we even want to admit, and when we get close to getting it, when we are reminded of how great it feels to have it, even if it’s for a moment, even if it’s just a whiff of it, we may forget everything we believe in. Don’t beat yourself up about it. We understand.

(Bonus) From the movie He’s Just Not That Into You

Sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t. The ones who will stay from the ones who will leave. And maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy. Maybe it’s you on your own picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts through all the blunders and misread signals through all the pain and embarrassment you never, ever gave up hope.

Are You Effective For The Kingdom of God?

Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:15 ESV

Is there such a sing that brings death? If not what is this verse talking about? Can we be of no spiritual use? How can I keep my spiritual life a live and active for The Kingdom of God.

Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:15  Sin is not merely a spontaneous act, but the result of a process. The Gr. words for “has conceived” and “gives birth” liken the process to physical conception and birth. Thus James personifies temptation and shows that it can follow a similar sequence and produce sin with all its deadly results. While sin does not result in spiritual death for the believer, it can lead to physical death.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. I Corinthians 11 :27-28

Is partaking of communion in a unworthy manner punishable by death? That is what it seems to be indicating in this verse. Defiling something that is set aside in a Holy manner and turning it into a “love feast”. Some might say that that is not loving of God. That is not true at all. God has set a standard and it is meant to be kept. There are punishments for disobeying God even if you are a Christian. It goes on to say…

That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.  I Corinthians 11:30

This verse tells you what is happening and has happened to those believers.

If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and God will give him life--to those who commit sins that do not lead to death. There is sin that leads to death; I do not say that one should pray for that. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death. 1 John 5:16-17

It clearly says that their is a sin leading to death. According to what I mentioned in I Corinthians 11 I would say it is safe to say that a Christian can die because of sin in their life. Is it possible that you can die from other sin in your life? I am not 100% sure about that. I will give some thoughts on that.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25

If someone is a Christian they will be showing at least one of these fruits of the Spirit. You should have at least one but you can not have all of them because then you would be like God and then have no need for God or what Jesus did on the cross. You may have more than one. If someone is claiming to be a Christian and is not showing fruits of the Spirit then are they really a Christian? You can judge that according to what the Word of God says. You should deal with the situation in a respectful manner. If they don’t have any fruits you should not gossip about them, or talk to other believers about it. You should confront them in a loving manner. Matthew 18:15-17 tells you how to confront sin in the Church. Fruitlessness is a sin because God told use to try and be like Him. Anything that we do that does not meet up with God’s standards is sin.  If you are so set in our sin and you really are a Christian then of what use would you still be here on earth? You are most likely going to be of harm to the Church. Would God take you home to be with him? I think He could.

How can we stay Spiritually alive? I believe that not just studying the Bible and going to Church will keep you Spiritually alive. If you are just studying the Bible and going to Church how is that furthering God’s Kingdom?  Don’t get me wrong, I think doing those things are very good. Being a Christian is not that simple. I think that being around younger Christians will help you keep Spiritually alive. It will help you keep from loosing focus on how alive the Word really is and amazing it is. Take a look at a new born baby. They are so happy and cute. Being around them might make you feel old. Look at what you have to offer them. You can help them grow up to be the person they can be. Same with new Christians. If you start to loose sight of how important the first years of Christian life then what good are you to the younger Christians. You could be “feeding God’s Sheep” you may not be the best teacher out there, you may not feel adequate for it but God has given you everything you need to help further the Kingdom of God, His Word and the Holy Spirit.

My challenge for you is to keep Spiritually active and further His Kingdom.

Do You Love Me? Are You Feeding My Sheep?

John 21:15  When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."
John 21:16  He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
John 21:17  He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep

Do you Love Me?

Do you love Christ in the same manner as He loves you? He was willing to lay His life down for you, are you willing to do that for Him? Are you striving to love Him in that manner? We should want to be Christ like, are you putting your all into it or just enough to get by?

Sheppard My Sheep

Tend My Sheep

Feed My Sheep

We should take this as something we should want to do. Are you helping further God's kingdom? Building up the saints is just one way that you can do that. Is God pricking your heart to go into ministry in some area? Are you actively looking for ways to feed His sheep?

Are you striving to be more Christ like? It is not easy. Ask yourself am I doing what God wants of me? Pray and ask God to show you how you can feed His sheep. God my ask you to do it in a simple way like helping out with something at your local assembly of believers, or He may point you in the direction of becoming a pastor or a missionary. If He is are you listening? Are you following what He is telling you? Are you really listening to the Holy Spirit? Whatever way He has you go remember that you need to do it for the glory of God. If you are seeking self glorification God is going to put you in your place sooner or later. We should want to do things right the first time. Put everything you got into it and God will reward you in some way if it be now or in the future.

Examine Yourselves...

2Co 13:5  Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2Co 13:6  I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test.

Are you examining yourself to see if your faith is real?

When you examine yourself you need to remember your position as a Christian, that is In Christ.

When you have examined yourself what are you going to do with the sin in your life that you have found? Are you willing to repent from it (Complete change) or not? Sometimes we will find sin in our lives and we know we need to remove it from our lives but we find it really hard to remove. The best way is to ask God to help you and pray about it, keep whatever it is that tempts you do that sin away. Try to avoid the thing or things that make it harder for you to resist the temptation. Remember temptation only comes from the devil and it is not a sin if you are tempted.

Do you know the voice of God or are you too busy to hear His voice? If you do hear it are you willing to listen and head to His voice?

Focus on Christ not the things of this world. When you are focused on Christ it is easier try and reach the goal of becoming complete in Christ.

Bad Ruins Good.

1Co 15:33  Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."

What does this verse mean? What is it talking about?

The commentary from John MacArthur says... Bad company. The Gr. term behind this word can also refer to a spoken message. By word or example, bad, or evil, friends are a corrupting influence. Hope in the resurrection is sanctifying; it leads to godly living, not corruption. Some in the church did not know God and were corrupting influence, but not for those who hoped for life in God's presence.

Is intentionally putting your self in places that you will be tempted in areas that you will easily fall into the sin? No, letting yourself be in that situation is not responsible. You may have good morals, you might not be tempted in that way.

You might have issues with certain temptation and your friends that you hang out with partake in that temptation for you and talk about it, most of the time you will eventually you will fall into.

What about putting your kids in programs that are being done by the "church" and they are bringing in kids in who are not Christians?  Is this a responsible thing to do? I do not think you should let them be involved in a program that is being put on by the"church"  that is having good kids be mixed with the bad kids and expecting the good kids to continue on being good kids and expect the bad kids to fallow their lead. According to this verse "Bad company ruins good morals" so should we take the risk at exposing the good kids to the bad? I don't think we should. What happens when you mix good apples with bad apples? the good does not turn the bad good. The bad turns the good bad. The same sort of thing works with humans. I have seen it and it is not a pretty thing to see. We should be keeping the future generation going in the right direction and not leaving the possibility of them turning away from what is right open to them.

I am not saying that we should not let them interact with unbelievers or bad kids. We need to keep an eye on what they are learning and who they are interacting with.  Keep them focused on good and wholesome things. We can still let them have fun. Allowing them to be kids and enjoy life is fine, but when they are doing things and partaking in things that are not going to be good for them need to be stopped to keep them on the right path.

I am hoping to make you think about what you are partaking in and if you have kids what they are partaking in...

Who is Christ to You?

Mark 8:27-29

²⁷Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?"

²⁸They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."

²⁹"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"
      Peter answered, "You are the Christ.

Who do people say Christ is? a good teacher, a prophet, a ordinary man? Some people believe that He was only the things listed above. What will they say when He come back to earth?  Matthew 24:30 to the joy of His people and to the terror of those who reject Him.

So who is He? He is the Christ the Son of God. When we put our faith in Christ we are saying He is the Christ. Someday every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is the Christ.

Do we act like He is the Christ? Sometimes we may say that He is but do we really mean it? Do we live like He is? Our actions should not be different wether or not we are thinking about it. As a believer you should live your life as a testimony to Christ and what He has done for you.

I hope that this was encouraging to you and got you thinking about your own life.

Tomb Raider The Cradle Of Life...

I was watching Tomb Raider The Cradle Of Life, a few days ago and noticed some stuff in it and wanted to put my thoughts out there.

In about scene 7 some MI6 agents are at Laura Croft's house, to talk to her about "The Cradle Of Life" and "Pandora's Box". MI6 does not want "Pandora's Box" to fall into the hands of Jonathan Reiss, who is a "Modern day Dr. Mengele" willing to sell weapons to the highest bidder.

Pandora's Box is considered a Greek myth, It goes something like this. Pandora was given a box by god, and told not to open it. She does and unleashes pain into the world... I don't want to go into the whole story. One main part is that Pharos son was told to transport it to the end of the world, because it wiped out most of Pharos army. From the Pictures in the movie it appears to be moved on a cart.

This sounds like a story out of the Bible that has been twisted.  In I Chronicles 13 you can reed the story of the Ark Of The Covenant being move on a cart by oxen. That looks like what is happening above. There are some differences in the story but it made me think of this. To me it sounds like there is nothing new under the sun, you just have to change enough to make it sound new.

Your thoughts and comments on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thinking about it...

These are some quotes that I would like you to think about...

When we offend nobody its because we’ve watered down the truth in the name of grace.

A speaker can be popular, a sermon can be greatly loved, a book can be a best seller in Christian stores, and still be bull of lies.

Is education really possible in an environment that scorns the very existence of truth? Facts can be taught, skills can be learned, propaganda disseminated, diplomas dispensed, but that isn’t education.

Its not arrogance to believe what the Bible teaches. It’s the opposite. Arrogance is when we try to tailor truth to our preferences. To dismiss Christ is mistaken, or the Bible as irrelevant, is the ultimate arrogance.

When we fail to tell the truth, we fail to represent Jesus, who is the truth.

Yet without the bad news, there can be no good news.

Truth without grace breeds a self-righteous legalism.

Truth is good advice.
Grace is good news.

There are two kinds of people: sinners who admit their sin and sinners who deny it. Which kind are you?

“All religions are basically the same” Imagine a Geometry or French teacher who said to his students they are basically the same.